Friday, April 21, 2006

Umour Ritual Forum

Umour Ritual ForumToday 4/20/2006

It hit 82 degrees in mid-April a bad portent if you ask me (However good, the sun may feel, at this moment). It had just been 75 degrees in the middle of November/and was really not much of a winter. The snow total was pretty high but that was deceptive because it fell in three large storms; the rest of the winter being dry and generally above freezing. The relief I felt at not having to endure a horrible winter has to be tempered by the basic dread of another miserable hot summer. Such is the reality of living in 2006… “Ice Age the Melt-Down” is playing in theaters; prescient perhaps, but a bit over the top. The weather is one of these things that isn’t really a factor in one’s life… until it is… like your teeth. What we humans fail to realize is that we are delicate, fragile creatures. Think about it: ants can survive the equivalent of a 40 story fall; rats can live for weeks by drinking their own urine; roaches have made it through a nuclear blast. It’s all relative but let me tell you people that the perils of second hand smoke won’t seem so damn relavent when it’s 110 degrees in the shade. Of course, there’s always the money to be made investing in oceanfront property in Colorado. But I digress… It’s a gorgeous sunny day and I’m sitting on the lawn in Tompkins Square surrounded by attractive, well dressed, white people… Yuppies, students, brokers. I suspect that at 44, I may have lived to long.

2 facts I’ve learned in my life; so far:

1) Either be kind to other people or kill them – if you’re not nice and you don’t kill them, they may come after you.

2) Dogs are loyal and always glad to see you but they sniff eachothers shit and drink water from dirty puddles on the sidewalk.

It’s all most shocking, when you walk around the city on a beautiful day, the surplus of attractive, young people with very white teeth. I seem to remember being some what attractive myself once, about 20 years ago. What do you think these people are going to look like 20 years down the road? Gray hair, bad teeth, chronic halitosis… it always amazes me how humans can be optimistic when what actually faces us is the inevitable decay and death. It’s not going to “work out” for anyone in the end, it’s really not. And knowledge – either of yourself or of the worlds – really doesn’t give you any advantages. In fact, if happiness counts for anything, it seems to me that the key to life is to be self – absorbed and stupid. And despite what we have all come to believe, Schaeffer is, in fact, the one beer to have when you’re having more than one.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Umour Live at Lane Gate

Kane, Kol and Loudmouth Bill decended upon Lance's abode, in his absence, to record some new music. The recording lasts about 28 minutes and is comprised of 6 songs which were spontainiously performed on toy instruments including the Mattel Magical Musical Thing, Mattel Bee Gees Rythm Machine, Remco Sound FX Machine, Casio CZ-1 and Univox Rhythmer.

Click the link above to view the music video for a track titled "Personal Cleanliness".