Evil Boy

More Sphinct-O-Print™ Please

U.S. Army Reveals Afghan Biometric ID Plan;
Millions Scanned, Carded by May 2010

"...when Karzai saw a picture of one of the biometric checkpoints in Newsweek, U.S. military officials tell Danger Room. Karzai declared the scanning to be an infringement of Afghan sovereignty, and put the kibosh on the whole thing.

Read More on Wired.com's Danger Room

By Noah Shachtman

End of the World beer

Don't be alarmed, it's Scottish.

Gun Rights for the Unborn

Seems clear that in this liberal-dominated nation, the murder of the unborn will continue for quite a while.

One right, however, that the liberals haven't yet been able to take away from us is the constitutionally-protected right to bare arms. The constitution gives us this liberty and does not constrain it to race, sex, or age.

The obvious response, therefore, to the problem of fetal murder is to arm said fetuses and give them a fighting chance. With our current technologies it has now become possible to arm babies in vitro, and then (should the fetus murderers attempt to extract them), give them the chance to fight back and, if possible, kill their would-be murderer.

That this is an extention of the constitutional rights the founding fathers would have approved of is obvious: EVERYONE should have the right to defend themselves and kill their attackers. The only problem is how to equip fetuses that do not yet have arms or even brains due to the early stages of formation.

UMOUR will keep you posted about progress in this dynamic new freedom front; We will attempt to join forces with members of the Tea Party and see whether they are lovers of freedom after all and will be willing to throw their full support behind gun rights for the unborn.

iPhone4 vs HTC Evo

Brilliant.

Superchick

"She's Much More Than You've Ever Had Before!"

Stockhausen's Helicopter Quartet

Perversion For Profit

Stockhausen: "Mikrophonie I"

Music To Freak Your Friends And Break Your Lease

Charles Fort - A Patron Saint of Umour

There is a man, largely undiscovered by the modern world, whom I, and many others, believe made one of the most significant contributions to the world of science. Had it not been that he vehemently opposed modern scientists and their methods, his work might be enjoying a greater popularity than it does. Had this man decided to write about completely different topics, he would be hailed as a fabulous literary character. Here was a peculiar fellow. Charles Fort devoted 26 years of his life to compiling documented reports of scientific anomalies from journals and newspapers from all around the world. He lived in dire poverty so that truth could prevail. His life’s work may one day be of great scientific worth, should the established scientific community ever muster the courage to approach it.

Anomalies. This is what Fort trafficked in. Reports of prehistoric beasts frolicking in the world’s oceans. (Loch Ness, Champ, Storsjon Animal). Ancient artifacts found in improbable places (Roman coins in the deserts of Arizona, Chinese seals found buried deep in the forests of Ireland, small statues of horses discovered in pre-Columbian Venezuela). Falls of things other than rain from the sky (red rains in 1571 England, 1744 Genoa; a rain of “73 organic formations, particular to South America” in France in 1846). Unidentified aerial phenomena (excluding Ezekiel’s Biblical description. Fort’s list contains the first known report of a so-called “UFO”, dating from 1779). These are but a few of the subjects Fort spent his lifetime collecting reports of. This anomalous data are roped together under the banner of “Forteana”, a term which probably does not exist in any dictionary, because that which it pertains to isn’t supposed to exist at all.

He who championed underdogs, has been and will likely continue to be, one of the greatest underdogs of all time. For he has not a baseball team or brooding thespians to compete with, but the entire history of the scientific world. His work spat in the face of conventional scientists. There is much going on around us that defies explanation. Fort amassed reports of events seen by humans around the world countless times, which, none the less, have been dismissed. The data he collected were excommunicated by science, which acts like a religion. “The monks of science” he wrote, “dwell on smuggeries that are walled away from event-jungles- Science has done its utmost to prevent whatever science has done” (the Book of the Damned, p. 245). His legacy, his collection of data lies before us. It is indisputable, and yet still ignored. The reports he gathered could make any enemy of science acquire a renewed enthusiasm for the subject. In his four published works, the Book of the Damned (1919). New Lands (1923) Lo! (1931) and Wild Talents (1932) we find over 1,200 documented reports of occurrences which orthodox science refuses to attempt to explain. Explanation was not Fort’s purpose. He merely presented the data, sometimes with his own speculations, sometimes with tongue in cheek. While anomalies can be entertaining, they can also be deeply disturbing, for they undermine the foundations of science, the idea that every thing in this world is rational and under control. Articles like those collected in Fortean Times and the INFO Journal (International Fortean Organization), two publications which continue Fort’s work, prove that things are not under our control, nor will they ever be. Many people, including scientists, find this discomforting and so ignore that which they cannot explain.

-Skylaire Alfvegren
The League of Western Fortean Intermediatists

Psychedelic and spiritual work by Art Clokey (of Gumby fame)

It's Magik, you know. Never believe it's not so.

"...there are beings of intelligence and power of a far higher quality than anything we can conceive of as human; that they are not necessarily based on the cerebral and nervous structures that we know, and that the one and only chance for mankind to advance as a whole is for individuals to make contact with such Beings." Aleister Crowley

Star Spangled Banner

That's the mugshot of the Jewish composer Igor Stravinsky, arrested after desecrating our precious national anthem with his bizarre and subversive arrangement of the National Anthem, which you are hearing now. If the Tea Party had been around back then you can be sure they wouldn't have let him play this in the first place!

Amorphophallus Titanum Blooms

Low End Theory

Robin William's Rant

Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says,
'I love New York ' in Arabic.

You gotta love Robin Williams....
Even if he's nuts!
Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams' plan...
(Hard to argue with this logic!)

'I see a lot of people yelling for peace, but I have not heard of a plan for peace.
So, here's one plan.'

1) 'The US will apologize to the world for our 'interference' in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good 'ole' boys', we will never 'interfere' again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea , the Middle East, and the Philippines . They don't want us there.
We would station troops at our borders.
No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days, the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!!
France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days, unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in.. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign 'students' over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a 'D' and it's back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness.
The caribou will have to cope for a while

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not 'interfere.' They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school.. That way, no one can call us 'Ugly Americans' any longer.
The Language we speak is ENGLISH... learn it... or LEAVE...
Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

'The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.'
She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'

Rant.

Fuck the tea party.
Fuck Sarah Palin.
Fuck the hillbillies with their fake values.
Fuck their stupidity.
Fuck their worldview.
Fuck their guns.

Fuck every fascist thing they stand for.
Fuck their tax-eating red states.
Fuck their false religion.
Fuck their houses.
Fuck their flag.
Fuck their self-imposed poverty.
Fuck their confusion.
Fuck their inability to cope.
Fuck their professions.
Fuck their jobs.
Fuck their fascism.
Fuck their racism.
Fuck their placebos.
Fuck their TV shows.
Fuck their values.
Fuck their houses.
Fuck their lifestyles.
Fuck their big white god

Just Say No: iWon't™

Ever wanted to just say "No I won't"
but not found the button or app?

Now you can with our latest
app for iPhone, iPod and iPad

iWon't™

brought to you by
the makers of More Duh™

© 2010 umour.org

ASS 2: KICK ASS

KICK ASS

Opens April 16!



I thought this might be brought to you by the makers of

Idiocracy (2006)

but no, I don't think so. Shut Up!