Dear Bin,
Well, George "The Crusader" Bush is back for another 4 years. (Why would you ever doubt the stupidity of the American voter?) Of course this means four more years of war, more attacks on who knows which Arab countries (one dead towel-headed-sand-nigger is as good as another to the boys from Texas) and, I fear, this means you will be attacking us again as well. While I would certainly prefer that you don’t, if you really must, I ask you to please consider a target other than New York City. I know the Trade towers were a big splashy P.R. thing, but... Just consider these facts: 1) You’ve already done New York and no self respecting terrorist wants to be seen as endlessly living in the past; 2) New York is an ethnically diverse community where many Moslems live - if you really want to strike at the infidels that are defiling your holy-lands, you don’t want to fry your brethren in the process; 3) New Yorkers are an educated bunch that voted for John Kerry and generally despise George Bush. Why not focus instead on your true enemies: Bush, Chaney, Delay and the ignorant racist yahoos that support them; 4) Bush lives in Texas which by the way is a miserable, violent and thoroughly fundamental Christian ("read Crusader")state. Now I realize that nuking Crawford, Texas is not nearly as dramatic as New York or Chicago but just think how much the destruction of his ranch will make W boo hoo hoo (P.S. Word is he fucks his pigs regularly and I’m told he’s currently hot on one particular sow); 5) A strike at the midland of the U.S.A. would really unnerve racist red-necks who basically couldn’t give a shit if you blew up New York anyway. Think about it, they hate us almost as much as they hate you. So, in conclusion, if you are indeed planning to nuke or bomb or poison some part of the U.S. of A., please consider Texas - if Crawford is too small-potatoes for you, how about Dallas or Houston (Houston is, after all, the 4 th largest city in America in case you weren’t aware)...or maybe Florida (now there’s a cess-pool that needs terminating). I mean, if you want to hit the Cowboys where they live, they don’t live in New York City, believe me. Besides, I personally guarantee that if you nuke Texas all Europe will cheer for you and give you lots of money.
Sincerely yours,
LOUDMOUTH BILL
P.S. If I were you, I’d send some extra Mujahaddin over to Syria A.S.A.P.
3 comments:
"A strike at the midland of the U.S.A. would really unnerve racist red-necks who basically couldn’t give a shit if you blew up New York anyway. Think about it, they hate us almost as much as they hate you."
This is precisely why I have adovocated that NYC acquire it's own nukes and retailiate if there's any more funny business. For instance, if someone from "that side of the Hudson" (whether in Afghanistan, NJ, or DC) takes out the Empire State Building, then KABLAM! Newark's history. Although this may seem harsh, I refuse to differentiate between the various terrorists...they all hate us NYkers, and I refuse to differentiate between 'em.
It is clear to me that you people are worthwhile. Please continue.
So how much Maalox do you have to drink a day to help your ulcers?
I'm sure with that much venom flowing through your veins it must increase your stomach acid.
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