It seems the City is accepting RFP proposals for what to do with Governer's Island, now that the Federal Government has given it to the city (follow the title link to the application).
Might I humbly suggest that the collective resources of UMOUR are best equipped to determine precisely what to do with Governer's Island?
Certainly, Loudmouth Bill can come up with the germ of an idea that UMOUR can collectively work on and submit as an official RFP to the City as an official (and hopefully permanent) UMOUR Event.
Some of the more obvious possibilities are as follows:
1. Do nothing. Prohibit any mass conveyance from reaching the Island. Canoes, however, are acceptable.
2. Do almost nothing...import Llamas and other animals and allow Umour Island to become something like a vast urban terrarium.
3. Create a sort of Guantanamo on Umour Island, but where we'll deposit (and keep an eye on) Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and others.
Alright, these are Lame. What should we do with Umour Island?
Oh, and in case it's not obvious I don't consider it highly likely that the city will actually adopt the UMOUR Plan for Governer's Island. But imagine how fun it will be forcing City Officials to review a UMOUR Proposal, complete with seething implications and political overtones. If there are pictures, etc..., they would be forced to be exposed to UMOUR Ideas as part of their job!
4 comments:
Ok... What the City needs to do is to turn Governors Island into a giant Red-Light district. Since the island has always been outside of the city proper, normal vice laws should not apply. All manner of vice: strippers, sex-shows, peep, videos, Whores, Steam-and-creams, male, female, both or neither... and all (and the city will love this) fully TAXABLE! The city wouldn't even have to provide much ferry service because there would be hundreds of water taxis in business. Talk about a "Quality of Life" boost. This would make NY the "Orlando" of sex... and would mean billions in revenue for the state's tax coffers. I even have a name for the project; the Isle Of Sodom. Of course, UMOUR, as originators of the project, would hold permanent seats on the Isle Of Sodom Board Of Directors (or ISOBOD). As ISOBOD would effectively control the city's purse-strings, it would eventually take over most of the day-to-day running of the city. Everybody would be happy with this arrangement because they'd be getting fantastic schools, city services, a cleaner environment and low taxes... and their rocks off whenever they needed. Of course, NY would have to restrict immigration, but we know that's probably on the horizon anyway. With all that extra tax money, we could purchase any weapons necessary to protect us from red-state reactionaries. Hell, we could even hire the fucking Isrealis to guard us. This makes sense for NY right now. I mean why should we be sending all those billions to Amserdam, Booty-pest and Bangcock when we could be keeping it all here at home... with a home-grown product. I have some great ideas for construction and some related projects. And, if the Isle Of Sodom project goes as well as I hope it will, we could seize Roosevelt island by emminant domaine and create a low-rent Isle Of Gommorah to handle the overflow. More about that later.
Loudmouthbill
Interesting and, in retrospect, "Obvious" (like your idea to view the Gowanus)...the best ideas are like that I find.
Actually, the part I was serious about was that putting such a proposal together and submitting might in itself be an interesting UMOUR event.
Is there any tool out there for easily generating a computer graphic diorama?
Actually, I forgot about Machinima!
"The Movies" is a Machinima-for-idiots "game" that should allow us to create a computer-generated UMOUR urban landscape, complete with virtual "actors"...
Ok, create a virtual model of this;
The basic "UNIT" of commerce on Isle of Sodom would be a sex superstore where whole wings could be dedicated to particular perversions. In each neat room ( which may be decorated in a limitless variety of "potential scenarios") a civil-servant or servants ( male, female, both or neither) advertises his/her wares from behind a large, special window. Upon entering a room ( which one must enable through the use of a credit card minimum deposit) the window goes dark. One can easily scan each floor and instantly see what's available. Rates must be clearly posted, along with specialties. There could be a cost hierarchy of quality and services rendered based on floor ( or other determinate) within each wing. We could charge admission to the entire island and then, of course, seperate admission for each event or individual service. NYS residents could purchase a yearly pass at a huge discount and city residents could get a higher discounted rate for services. Tourists would, of course, pay the full rate plus TAX. Needless to say, for "security" reasons, every square inch of I.O.S. will have to be under constant video surveilance ( non-video "platinum" rooms could be available at a premium rate). The city could charge people to view the action from numerous off-island viewing parlors. "Whoops- Sex Bloopers!" will be the number one show on TV nationwide, with all advertising profits going to... you guessed it; New York's tax coffers. Embarrased participants could pay a sliding-scale fee to have their "escapades" permanently deleted from the archives. For a more nominal fee, participants could re-engineer body types or parts digitally, on all video presentations.
Fear Now For The Future.
Loudmouthbill
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