We Want DRUGS, Goddammit!

OK, this is getting ridiculous.

I can only get one box of Claritin at a time, because kids can supposedly take several boxes of the stuff and make crystal meth or something out of 'em. Now I can get all the Claritin I need if I'm willing to stand on line more than once.

So does anyone think this is really slowing anyone down? And look, they're just seeking a high, seeking an escape from the shitty dog-eat-dog society we've all created. I want to escape too, OK? Is that so wrong? Even if so, fuck off: I'm an adult.

OK, here's the simple and obvious solution. It's a complete win-win for everybody.

I call upon the pharmaceutical companies to make us a recreational drug that will be acceptable to society and the law as well. It should have the following characteristics:

1. The high lasts 20 to 40 minutes.
2. The high should be mildly hallucenogenic.
3. The high should make communication and social interaction fun.
4. The high should not have any negative impact on liver or other body parts.
5. The drug should only be addictive to the kinds of people that would get addicted to something or other anyway. ie, there should be no true physiological dependency.
6. It should be liquid and squirtable into drinks.
7. It should cost approximately $5 to $7 bucks a trip.
8. Multiple doses should increase the drug's effect, but it should saturate. In other words, it should be inherently possible for the drug to make it impossible for you to walk or kind of communicate. And in any event, the duration should still be limited to about 40 or perhaps 60 minutes.

OK, this should be simple enough. A safe, fun drug that we can all enjoy and that the pharmaceutical companies could make tons of $$$ selling us.

Anyone who is against even the idea of creating an acceptable recreational drug is a fascist: They want to regulate mental states, even those that harm no one.