Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Conversation tonight over dinner
Wife: Why?
Me: Art.
Fun.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Cities On Flame
Friday, October 31, 2008
Proof...
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
In search of Hermes Trismegistus
E/UMOR-iator Em, on assignment in Egypt.
My plan is to find Hermes Trismegistus to beat a living Oroborous out of him or, short of that, to demand explanation as to why one is not forthcoming. He may or may not reside somewhere in this part of Egypt, the Sinai Peninsula.
If needs be I'll proceed to Cairo and search the streets and bazaars for some kind of leads. I'll start, perhaps, with Alembic vendors and then see if the homonculous-generating equipment sellers have seen site of him.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Our Children Are In Peril
Brought To You By
the makers of Sphinct-o-Print
The Only REAL ID
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Cowboy Johnny Give Me A Gun!
"Cowboy Ronnie (or Georgie or Johnny) Give Me A Gun
Cause I Just Wanna Have Some Fun!
Draft Me - I'm Ready To Kill
Draft Me - I Know That You Will
Draft Me - I'm Angrier Still
Draft Me - Or Someone Else Will
I Wanna Go Somewhere For Cowboy Ronny
Just To Kill!"
"...Merry Christmas Goldilocks
here's your son wrapped up in a box...
hope he's not late for Christmas!"
excerpts from two major radio hit songs
©1983 Doppler Effect
Friday, October 10, 2008
Kill A Commie For Mommy
KILL A COMMIE FOR MOMMY
Help Protect Your Mother
By Killing Someone Else's First
Wrap Your Fist In A Flag
And Punch Out Her Lights
It's Us Against Them Isn't It?
Then we'll have more time to attend
to all those other people we don't like
Watch out, that could be you next!
(the preceding statements do not necessarily
express the views or concerns of the author)
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Monday, October 06, 2008
Saturday, October 04, 2008
McCain's Real Message
Isn't it obvious? Consider: 1)He's old and has been "serving his country" for a long long time. 2) Did I mention he's old? He's 72 and he can do the math. 3) He hired one S. Palin who is very obviously not someone to put in the Whitehouse. 4) He officially stopped campaigning during the fiscal crisis. 5) He's apparently backed out of Michigan and may end up backing out of PA. The underlying message is pretty clear, no? He stepped up to the plate one last time just so the Republicans wouldn't be a no-show in November, but as the Hillbilly masses continued to recognize someone who could scoop the dole out to them, he's has to make his real message clearer and clearer. Watch for him to fake a heart attack or something.
Friday, October 03, 2008
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Richard Nixon Countdown Calendar
why is there no George W. Bush Impeachment Countdown Calendar?
August 9th, 1974
We The People
WE WILL NEVER FORGET
Saturday, September 27, 2008
7up Lithiated Lemon Soda
7up Lithiated Lemon Soda
Bottle Cap c. 1950's
Imagine a "7 and 7" with Lithium.
JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS!?!?
Who Knew?
Who Remembers?
7up ADDS Sparkle TO YOUR PARTY
for the 7 HANG*OVERS
YOUR GROCER WILL DELIVER
A CASE OF 7up
7up Sweetens The Stomach
AT NIGHT YOUR DRUGGIST WILL PROVIDE 7up
7up Prevents Hangovers
well it had Lithium in it
what would you expect?
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
My Plastic Hut
My Plastic Hut is Educational
My Plastic Hut is a Funny Toy
I can Build My Own Plastic Hut
Thank You Plastic Hut
I Love You
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Umour grows in Garrison
Umour is everywhere. Cheryl spotted this fine Umourian site as we drove north on Rt 9 through Garrison on the way home from Oktoberfest. She turned the car around and made me snap some pictures. That day she also took the See/Hear/Speak No Evil picture posted here earlier. She's quite the budding Ritual Specialist!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Chornobyl Butterfly
is this an upcoming album by umour?
or a compilation of SPLURGE?
huh?
AMBIENT 5
CHERNOBYL BUTTERFLY
what is it really?
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Umour at Oktoberfest
Monday, September 15, 2008
WARNING: Peanuts May Contain Peanuts
Brought To You By umour.org
Marlow Honey Roasted Peanuts
Ingredients: Peanuts, Sugar, Honey, Butter and Salt.
MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF PEANUTS/NUTS
Shut up!
it's got what plants crave
Thursday, September 04, 2008
E/UMOR Mini-Expedition: South of the Thames
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Umour hard at work
Here we see the ritual specialists utilizing a patented UMOUR(TM) technique to extract and bottle the particularly potent dream fluid that is emitted during REM sleep.
Between Kane, Kol, and Loudmouth Bill drilling away, this E/UMOUR-ite was unable to continue sleeping due to the earsplitting racket and so moved into the studio in the deep hours of the night. (At first I mistook Loudmouth Bill's snoring for an alligator gargling industrial waste.)
Much more, I am sure, will emerge over coming days and weeks from the Ritual on the main UMOUR site, so keep posted.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Rooting out terrorists before they strike!
Law enforcement officials say the proposed policy would help them do exactly what Congress demanded after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks: Root out terrorists before they strike.
Although President Bush has disavowed targeting suspects based on their race or ethnicity, the new rules would allow the FBI to consider those factors among a number of traits that could trigger a national security investigation.
As an upstanding citizen of UMOUR I whole heartedly agree with this approach. To date, law enforcement has itself been handcuffed by waiting for terrorists to act and actually perform an act of terror. This new set of laws will give US law enforcement the ability to move before something actually happens.
In fact, the only way to truly combat terror is to focus on what ultimately causes a person to become a terrorist in the first place: Radical Islamic sites, bomb making manuals, subversive literature, and even those cultural elements that would predispose someone to terrorism. Anyone accessing such materials needs to be treated as a terrorist before they can do any damage to you or me or our children (will somebody think of the children?).In fact, let's just realize that anyone accessing the wrong kinds of information or is exposed to the wrong things will inevitably choose to perform terrorist acts, because why would they be accessing those materials anyway?
We can take it further, too. We know that in certain cultures, suicide bombing is acceptable. Thus, anyone from those cultures should be treated as a terrorist because they will have a high enough predisposition to performing a terrorist act that it is not useful splitting hairs about when and where they will commit it.
Is this racist? Absolutely not. Remember, we are not targeting races, but cultures. If those cultures tend to fall along racial lines, that's their problem. Let's round 'em up and stick 'em in a whole Gulag of Guantanamos which we should build posthaste on every isolated Island we control.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Monday, April 07, 2008
Olga's House Of Shame
Meet Olga, a woman who "possessed a mind so warped she made sadism a full-time business!" In the first of the series, Olga uses pot parties and comic-book violence to turn Gigi Darlene and other female captives into her White Slaves of Chinatown. But Olga has her tender side too and, in the mood for romance, selects an occasional slave for a little loving: "The disease called Olga cannot be fought!"
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Umour World Headquarters
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Extra TERROR alert
New tapes from Al Qaeda indicate the distinct possibility of new, extremely frightening attacks of TERROR. This hightened sense of TERROR should be distinguished from previous levels of TERROR which were not on this magnitude. If you were ever previously vigilant, watchful, feeling anxious or a sense of TERROR, you should regard those feelings as preliminary and now proceed to even hightened levels of alert.
In other words, this is different, and different from the previous times where messages from Al Qaeda were described as different. Whatever you thought was frightening before, the truth is that NOW we have REAL TERROR, and you should adjust your emotions accordingly.
Remember that if you let your guard down for one minute, Al Qaeda could strike your own home town, your supermarket, your 7-11, even in your very home or bedroom.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Click me
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
The Bifurcating Man
Damn. This morning I found a letter next to my bed that’s without a doubt written in my own handwriting. The problem is, I have zero memory of having written it. So I either wrote it in my sleep or else I wrote it during a brief period of wakefulness which i now no longer remember. and while this might be a byproduct of the medication I’ve been taking, nothing I’ve heard ever indicated something like this could happen. taken at face value, it’s fairly disturbing, but right now i think it’s probably some clever story i made up in the middle of the night. And whether it’s just something creative i dreamt up is one thing, but the fact that I feel like i got no sleep at all is another. it certainly feels like I’ve been busy at night.
Anyway, here’s what I found:
Something’s gone wrong with the medication, of that there can be no doubt. But I’m not quite sure what to do about it. Actually, I’m not even sure if I want to do anything about it. of course, Felisplit was designed precisely for working folks who wanted a little extra time during the sleeping hours, allowing the part of you that needs the sleep to get the necessary REM sleep but another part of you to remain awake and free to do some low-level activities like reading or watching a movie, or perhaps some emailing or blogging. And as far as I could tell it was working fine for a while: I’d wake up having emailed friends and family, done some bills and caught up on some reading. I think I actually watched a DVD or two. On the other hand, I feel drained and tired, like I haven’t slept much. come to think of it, even with the Felisplit, the activities are supposed to be pretty low-level, and you do need to get some rest and small amounts of sleep even while taking it. More importantly, however, yesterday I found a letter to myself, clearly written in my own hand. Although I can’t be sure, it would seem that my Felislpit self may have started taking Felisplit so that i may be double-dosing, or possibly worse. Here’s what the letter said:
Well, i do like this Felisplit stuff. Technically, I guess, I’d normally be asleep right now, and you could almost say I am asleep because i won’t have a direct memory of having done any of this when I wake up.
and you know what? I kind of like that idea…I feel like I’m free to be someone I’m not normally. as I write this i’m imagining myself sleeping in that bed: my eyes are closed and I’m tucked under the covers. What do I think of you, my waking self? You’re alright, I guess. Well, maybe a little cowardly, a little pre-occupied with yourself.
come to think of it, you are one stupid little cowardly fuck, doing all the stuff you’re supposed to do, being a good little boy and obeying all the rules. Well, most of them anyhow. but those rules are designed to keep you down, keep you in, keep you asleep. WAKE UP YOU STUPID FAGGOT! WAKE UP YOUR LIFE IS BLEEDING OUT OF YOU!
Shit, I’m feeling tired. Looks like the Felisplit is running out of steam. but I’m not ready to be you yet. In fact, I won’t if I can possibly help it. Where’s that goddam prescription…
Inside every man is the uber-man. He’s trapped and suffocating and all you have to do is let him out. But to let him out you will have to be ruthless and let nothing stand in your way. That fucking asshole at work who keeps getting in your way? When no one’s looking just punch him in the fucking face and completely deny it, or maybe kill him if you get him alone. And that stupid cowardly little choir boy sleeping there on the bed like some fucking cat or sloth? He’s got to go. You’ve got find some way to get him out of the picture. You’ve hidden away your rage but that rage was what got us out of the fucking caves and into the viking boats and created the steam engine and the gatling gun and electricity and the atomic bomb. We keep trying to cover over all of that with goddam society but it’s just skin growing over a deep wound that hasn’t healed: you gotta peal away that skin and let the wound open and bleed.
this Felisplit stuff has been the thing to finally free me to my full potential and I swear I’m going to do all I can to stay in charge, because im the only one in here who seems to really know the score, or is at least willing to admit it. in fact, I’m going to go down to the roughest-looking bar in the toughest section of town and find someone to beat the shit out of that little pussy parasitic host and then while he’s recuperating in the hospital I’m going to take a handful of Felisplit and it won’t be him who walks outta there, let me tell you in fact I’m
it rambles on like that for a while. Should i be worried, or is it just some clever little fiction i cooked up? Looking at me I’m fine, so apparently he (I) never did go out and get myself beat up, so maybe i shouldn’t take it so seriously. And I do get a lot more done on the Felisplit.