Memorial Day

It was a solemn ceremony. Mourners dressed in military uniforms interspersed with civilians dressed in black were gathered around the large rectangular ditch approximately half the size of a basketball court. Speeches were made at a podium dressed in the American flag; tears were shed, guns were fired and a lone trumpet played. The sky was fittingly overcast, a cold drizzle made it seem as if nature herself shared the sorrow on this day and during this tribute to the fallen.

And then the bulldozers came, scoops held proudly upwards towards the sky. The scoops were laden with the 3,454 bodies of the fallen in Iraq and draped with American flags so that the individual bodies could not be seen. And then, in turn, each bulldozer dumped its load into the large ditch as Taps was played on the trumpet. As the scoop tilted, the first few body bags rolled out and down, some hitting the edge of the scoop and tumbling out, but then followed by the larger almost fluid mass of bodies behind. A collared clergyman stood at the edge of the ditch, making the sign of the cross with his hands.

After the last of the bulldozers had dumped its load into the ditch, the 3,545 gray body bags now formed a large pile as the clergymen began their ceremony. "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust" could be heard between gusts of wind while a single scoop pushed dirt onto the pile, its warning beep sounding as it repeatedly backed up to get more dirt.

After the pile was buried and the mound tamped down by the bulldozer, as the mourners filed out some tossed bouquets onto the giant mound, other stood and said quiet goodbyes. And as the last mourners filed out the bulldozers turned and also drove away in single file.

Let's Write A Song...

To all Ritual Specialists, and any interested readers:

Lets write a song! We hope to complete our Modern Psychedellic album ( titled "More Pink Pigs Head") with a collabrative effort that will feature a long "splurge-like" jam as acompaniment for sound-bites and spoken words which harken back to the Vietnam era and it's parallels with today's folly in Iraq.

Here's the plan:

Write a line or two, using "psychedellic imagery" to discribe your thoughts, opinions and/or impressions about the war in Iraq, the Bush administration, global warming, or any other current world events. Use metaphore and symbolism to convey your ideas in a psychedellic way while making sure to be clear that this is 2007, not 1968. Drawing paralells will be a major plus, as that is the concept for the song.

After we have assembled some "lyrics" from you all, as well as some "sound bites" of both historic and current events we'll assemble a "sound montage" and then gather the crew to record a musical accompanyment.

Thanks and good luck!

Call 'em what you like, but they ain't terrorists

Call them murderers, call them combatants, call them the enemy, call them Islamic radicals, but they're not terrorists. A terrorist is someone who tries to unnerve a civilian population and undermine its faith in government.

Killing soldiers is merely another act of war, there is no better definition.

A nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there

A Eu-mor expedition to a glacier was undertaken last week, in conjunction with some efforts that UMOR is organizing with regards to Global Warming. More information coming soon.

Note the absence of living creatures: No creature would willingly tolerate such conditions.

E/UMOR is analyzing the harsh conditions endured by some of nature's creatures as a byproduct of Darwin's terrible inventions of evolution and adaption:

E/umorite EM can officially report being shocked by conditions on the glacier and can only imagine what has to be endured to live in such places.

Dogpoop bag sign

Geneva, Switzerland.

Damn those Swiss dogs are smart: Not only can they read French, they've apparently learned to hold their own dogpoop bags in the absence of thumbs.

uMor has it...

...rumour has it there are a new batch of UmourSounds up on the main Umour site, which one might hear if one is sufficientlly curious.

Strike One!

Let's call this a foul ball. Mind the collateral damage, boys.

New Radiation Symbol

You gotta love this one. No, it's real.

Go get your own war, we saw it first

Doesn't Iran understand? It's not where a war is located that's important, it's who calls it first that matters. Why are they trying to muscle in on our war? I mean it's not like they have the inventory of countless defense contractors to burn off. Look, if they have domestic issues they want to solve there's plenty of other countries they can pick a fight with. Why do they have to be such copycats and stick their hand in our pie?
OK, let's make a deal. Whe we're done with Afghanistan Iran can throw their own war there after we hightail it. And don't worry, those Afghans have plenty of fight left in 'em: It won't just be "sloppy seconds".

Permission Granted

As a reader of the Umour Ritual Forum, you are hereby given permission to bitch-slap anyone who uses the Energizer Bunny in conversation anymore. For intance, if they refer to a hard-working person as 'just like the energizer bunny, they keep going and going', that's when you have the right to slap them straight across the lips.

If you wish, print out this page and cut out this post, and hand it to the slap-ee after the reproof.

You'll be glad you did.

Thank you.
EU-MOR

Greetings from Camden

The Forbidden Zone

How could we have possibly overlooked this for all of these years?!?!? Order the full movie at www.forbiddenzonethemovie.com

Henry Rollins...

...what's he saying? I wish he didn't beat around the bush so much...

Kill Peeks

What If...

What if, when you die, you experience every moment of your life, in exact detail, all at once, forever. Would it be heaven?

Scully's Religious Experience

Danger of Death

Danger of Death
Originally uploaded by The Magic Lantern.

Does this give you any ideas?

Mussolini

Go to hell

Coming Back from Extinction

Once again, God has put the liberal naysayers to shame. Those that claim that our God-given duty to subdue the earth stops just because the calender says its 2006 can cease their fear-mongering and environmental bellyaching, as it's clear that God can recreate any species he chooses, even species that hippie tree-huggers (and their ideological hitmen known as 'scientists') have declared "extinct".

As proof, consider the Ivory-billed Woodpecker. This species was completely gone from the woods of Arkansas and anywhere else in the world. This species was made "extinct" precisely because we God-fearing lovers of progress had conquered and subdued those portions of the earth where this woodpecker eaked out its miserable existence. But just likee God made Adam and Eve and all the animals on the earth, God can recreate any species he wishes, at any time, andd the reappearence of the Ivory-billed woodpecker proves it.

Let's not listen, then, to those who would try to scare us with their talk of global warming and extinction of species. If an woodpecker or owl is not strong enough to survive what is our rightful detiny, then it's God's will for that speces to dissappear for a time. If conditions become right once again, God can recreate that species should He choose. Let us therefore continue to expand and generate new wealth, for truly this is God's blessing upon us for obeying His commands.

Amen.