Saturday, June 24, 2006
An afternoon of post apocalyptic music and art for a world without power.
Saturday, June 24, 2006 3:00 PM At The Barn, in Cold Spring, NY
email us for reservations and directions. Donations accepted.
email: ritual_specialist@umour.org
Monday, June 12, 2006
We Want DRUGS, Goddammit!
OK, this is getting ridiculous.
I can only get one box of Claritin at a time, because kids can supposedly take several boxes of the stuff and make crystal meth or something out of 'em. Now I can get all the Claritin I need if I'm willing to stand on line more than once.
So does anyone think this is really slowing anyone down? And look, they're just seeking a high, seeking an escape from the shitty dog-eat-dog society we've all created. I want to escape too, OK? Is that so wrong? Even if so, fuck off: I'm an adult.
OK, here's the simple and obvious solution. It's a complete win-win for everybody.
I call upon the pharmaceutical companies to make us a recreational drug that will be acceptable to society and the law as well. It should have the following characteristics:
1. The high lasts 20 to 40 minutes.
2. The high should be mildly hallucenogenic.
3. The high should make communication and social interaction fun.
4. The high should not have any negative impact on liver or other body parts.
5. The drug should only be addictive to the kinds of people that would get addicted to something or other anyway. ie, there should be no true physiological dependency.
6. It should be liquid and squirtable into drinks.
7. It should cost approximately $5 to $7 bucks a trip.
8. Multiple doses should increase the drug's effect, but it should saturate. In other words, it should be inherently possible for the drug to make it impossible for you to walk or kind of communicate. And in any event, the duration should still be limited to about 40 or perhaps 60 minutes.
OK, this should be simple enough. A safe, fun drug that we can all enjoy and that the pharmaceutical companies could make tons of $$$ selling us.
Anyone who is against even the idea of creating an acceptable recreational drug is a fascist: They want to regulate mental states, even those that harm no one.
I can only get one box of Claritin at a time, because kids can supposedly take several boxes of the stuff and make crystal meth or something out of 'em. Now I can get all the Claritin I need if I'm willing to stand on line more than once.
So does anyone think this is really slowing anyone down? And look, they're just seeking a high, seeking an escape from the shitty dog-eat-dog society we've all created. I want to escape too, OK? Is that so wrong? Even if so, fuck off: I'm an adult.
OK, here's the simple and obvious solution. It's a complete win-win for everybody.
I call upon the pharmaceutical companies to make us a recreational drug that will be acceptable to society and the law as well. It should have the following characteristics:
1. The high lasts 20 to 40 minutes.
2. The high should be mildly hallucenogenic.
3. The high should make communication and social interaction fun.
4. The high should not have any negative impact on liver or other body parts.
5. The drug should only be addictive to the kinds of people that would get addicted to something or other anyway. ie, there should be no true physiological dependency.
6. It should be liquid and squirtable into drinks.
7. It should cost approximately $5 to $7 bucks a trip.
8. Multiple doses should increase the drug's effect, but it should saturate. In other words, it should be inherently possible for the drug to make it impossible for you to walk or kind of communicate. And in any event, the duration should still be limited to about 40 or perhaps 60 minutes.
OK, this should be simple enough. A safe, fun drug that we can all enjoy and that the pharmaceutical companies could make tons of $$$ selling us.
Anyone who is against even the idea of creating an acceptable recreational drug is a fascist: They want to regulate mental states, even those that harm no one.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
KABOOM!
The President of Iran is asking for direct talks with W.
Always do the right thing, President Ahmadinejad.
Always do the right thing, President Ahmadinejad.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
UMOUR FORUM READER REGISTRATION
THIS NOTICE IS FOR ALL READERS OF THE UMOUR RITUAL FORUM. THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT HAS DETERMINED THAT THE MATERIAL HEREIN IS POTENTIALLY TREASONOUS AND LEADING TO TERRORIST THOUGHTS AND INTENTIONS. IT IS THEREFORE REQUIRED OF ALL READERS THAT THEY REGISTER THEMSELVES. CURRENTLY, THIS REGISTRATION IS VOLUNTARY BUT IN THE NEAR FUTURE IT WILL LIKELY BE MANDATORY. LACK OF COMPLIANCE AT THIS POINT MAY RESULT IN A NEGATIVE DETERMINATION OF YOUR PATRIOTISM.
PLEASE NOTE THAT THE IP ADDRESS OF ALL READERS OF THIS FORUM HAVE BEEN CULLED AND ARE UNDER INVESTIGATION. IDENTITY SEARCHES ARE UNDERWAY AND LACK OF REGISTRATION MAY RESULT IN A PHYSICAL VISIT.
PLEASE SEND YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, SSN, EMPLOYER, INCOME, ETHNIC BACKGROUND AND REASON(S) FOR READING THIS FORUM TO:
UMOUR-REGISTRATION@NSA.GOV.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PROMPT RESPONSE TO THIS MATTER.
PLEASE NOTE THAT THE IP ADDRESS OF ALL READERS OF THIS FORUM HAVE BEEN CULLED AND ARE UNDER INVESTIGATION. IDENTITY SEARCHES ARE UNDERWAY AND LACK OF REGISTRATION MAY RESULT IN A PHYSICAL VISIT.
PLEASE SEND YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, SSN, EMPLOYER, INCOME, ETHNIC BACKGROUND AND REASON(S) FOR READING THIS FORUM TO:
UMOUR-REGISTRATION@NSA.GOV.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PROMPT RESPONSE TO THIS MATTER.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Umour Ritual Forum
Umour Ritual ForumToday 4/20/2006
It hit 82 degrees in mid-April a bad portent if you ask me (However good, the sun may feel, at this moment). It had just been 75 degrees in the middle of November/and was really not much of a winter. The snow total was pretty high but that was deceptive because it fell in three large storms; the rest of the winter being dry and generally above freezing. The relief I felt at not having to endure a horrible winter has to be tempered by the basic dread of another miserable hot summer. Such is the reality of living in 2006… “Ice Age the Melt-Down” is playing in theaters; prescient perhaps, but a bit over the top. The weather is one of these things that isn’t really a factor in one’s life… until it is… like your teeth. What we humans fail to realize is that we are delicate, fragile creatures. Think about it: ants can survive the equivalent of a 40 story fall; rats can live for weeks by drinking their own urine; roaches have made it through a nuclear blast. It’s all relative but let me tell you people that the perils of second hand smoke won’t seem so damn relavent when it’s 110 degrees in the shade. Of course, there’s always the money to be made investing in oceanfront property in Colorado. But I digress… It’s a gorgeous sunny day and I’m sitting on the lawn in Tompkins Square surrounded by attractive, well dressed, white people… Yuppies, students, brokers. I suspect that at 44, I may have lived to long.
2 facts I’ve learned in my life; so far:
1) Either be kind to other people or kill them – if you’re not nice and you don’t kill them, they may come after you.
2) Dogs are loyal and always glad to see you but they sniff eachothers shit and drink water from dirty puddles on the sidewalk.
It’s all most shocking, when you walk around the city on a beautiful day, the surplus of attractive, young people with very white teeth. I seem to remember being some what attractive myself once, about 20 years ago. What do you think these people are going to look like 20 years down the road? Gray hair, bad teeth, chronic halitosis… it always amazes me how humans can be optimistic when what actually faces us is the inevitable decay and death. It’s not going to “work out” for anyone in the end, it’s really not. And knowledge – either of yourself or of the worlds – really doesn’t give you any advantages. In fact, if happiness counts for anything, it seems to me that the key to life is to be self – absorbed and stupid. And despite what we have all come to believe, Schaeffer is, in fact, the one beer to have when you’re having more than one.
LoudmouthBill
It hit 82 degrees in mid-April a bad portent if you ask me (However good, the sun may feel, at this moment). It had just been 75 degrees in the middle of November/and was really not much of a winter. The snow total was pretty high but that was deceptive because it fell in three large storms; the rest of the winter being dry and generally above freezing. The relief I felt at not having to endure a horrible winter has to be tempered by the basic dread of another miserable hot summer. Such is the reality of living in 2006… “Ice Age the Melt-Down” is playing in theaters; prescient perhaps, but a bit over the top. The weather is one of these things that isn’t really a factor in one’s life… until it is… like your teeth. What we humans fail to realize is that we are delicate, fragile creatures. Think about it: ants can survive the equivalent of a 40 story fall; rats can live for weeks by drinking their own urine; roaches have made it through a nuclear blast. It’s all relative but let me tell you people that the perils of second hand smoke won’t seem so damn relavent when it’s 110 degrees in the shade. Of course, there’s always the money to be made investing in oceanfront property in Colorado. But I digress… It’s a gorgeous sunny day and I’m sitting on the lawn in Tompkins Square surrounded by attractive, well dressed, white people… Yuppies, students, brokers. I suspect that at 44, I may have lived to long.
2 facts I’ve learned in my life; so far:
1) Either be kind to other people or kill them – if you’re not nice and you don’t kill them, they may come after you.
2) Dogs are loyal and always glad to see you but they sniff eachothers shit and drink water from dirty puddles on the sidewalk.
It’s all most shocking, when you walk around the city on a beautiful day, the surplus of attractive, young people with very white teeth. I seem to remember being some what attractive myself once, about 20 years ago. What do you think these people are going to look like 20 years down the road? Gray hair, bad teeth, chronic halitosis… it always amazes me how humans can be optimistic when what actually faces us is the inevitable decay and death. It’s not going to “work out” for anyone in the end, it’s really not. And knowledge – either of yourself or of the worlds – really doesn’t give you any advantages. In fact, if happiness counts for anything, it seems to me that the key to life is to be self – absorbed and stupid. And despite what we have all come to believe, Schaeffer is, in fact, the one beer to have when you’re having more than one.
LoudmouthBill
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Umour Live at Lane Gate
Kane, Kol and Loudmouth Bill decended upon Lance's abode, in his absence, to record some new music. The recording lasts about 28 minutes and is comprised of 6 songs which were spontainiously performed on toy instruments including the Mattel Magical Musical Thing, Mattel Bee Gees Rythm Machine, Remco Sound FX Machine, Casio CZ-1 and Univox Rhythmer.
Click the link above to view the music video for a track titled "Personal Cleanliness".
Click the link above to view the music video for a track titled "Personal Cleanliness".
Monday, April 03, 2006
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Umour Island
It seems the City is accepting RFP proposals for what to do with Governer's Island, now that the Federal Government has given it to the city (follow the title link to the application).
Might I humbly suggest that the collective resources of UMOUR are best equipped to determine precisely what to do with Governer's Island?
Certainly, Loudmouth Bill can come up with the germ of an idea that UMOUR can collectively work on and submit as an official RFP to the City as an official (and hopefully permanent) UMOUR Event.
Some of the more obvious possibilities are as follows:
1. Do nothing. Prohibit any mass conveyance from reaching the Island. Canoes, however, are acceptable.
2. Do almost nothing...import Llamas and other animals and allow Umour Island to become something like a vast urban terrarium.
3. Create a sort of Guantanamo on Umour Island, but where we'll deposit (and keep an eye on) Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and others.
Alright, these are Lame. What should we do with Umour Island?
Oh, and in case it's not obvious I don't consider it highly likely that the city will actually adopt the UMOUR Plan for Governer's Island. But imagine how fun it will be forcing City Officials to review a UMOUR Proposal, complete with seething implications and political overtones. If there are pictures, etc..., they would be forced to be exposed to UMOUR Ideas as part of their job!
Might I humbly suggest that the collective resources of UMOUR are best equipped to determine precisely what to do with Governer's Island?
Certainly, Loudmouth Bill can come up with the germ of an idea that UMOUR can collectively work on and submit as an official RFP to the City as an official (and hopefully permanent) UMOUR Event.
Some of the more obvious possibilities are as follows:
1. Do nothing. Prohibit any mass conveyance from reaching the Island. Canoes, however, are acceptable.
2. Do almost nothing...import Llamas and other animals and allow Umour Island to become something like a vast urban terrarium.
3. Create a sort of Guantanamo on Umour Island, but where we'll deposit (and keep an eye on) Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and others.
Alright, these are Lame. What should we do with Umour Island?
Oh, and in case it's not obvious I don't consider it highly likely that the city will actually adopt the UMOUR Plan for Governer's Island. But imagine how fun it will be forcing City Officials to review a UMOUR Proposal, complete with seething implications and political overtones. If there are pictures, etc..., they would be forced to be exposed to UMOUR Ideas as part of their job!
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Mistaken Rapture Kills Arkansas Woman
ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sunroof during an incident best described as a "mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye-witnesses. Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile-up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman, who was apparently convinced the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she believed was Jesus. "She started screaming `He's back! He's back!' and climbed out through the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.
"I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said. "She thought the rapture was happening and was
convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky!" he went on to say.
"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene. Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was on his way to a toga costume party, when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow-up sex dolls filled with helium, which then floated up into the sky. Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration and said "Come back," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into heaven as they drove by him. "I think my wife loved Jesus more than she loved me," the widower said when asked why his wife would do such a thing. When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied, "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen."
"I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said. "She thought the rapture was happening and was
convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky!" he went on to say.
"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene. Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was on his way to a toga costume party, when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow-up sex dolls filled with helium, which then floated up into the sky. Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration and said "Come back," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into heaven as they drove by him. "I think my wife loved Jesus more than she loved me," the widower said when asked why his wife would do such a thing. When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied, "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen."
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Umouritis
It started off slowly. So slowly, in fact, that by the time I recognized it, it had already been happening for a long time. maybe 6 months or more.
I think it started with technology. Information technology, to be specific: Garbled voices on the conference line, ID badge-readers that need several tries before the green light, software that is just a little buggy around the edges...nothing crash-and-burn, mind you. just a subtle deterioration around the edges, of a kind that maybe soon they'll send somebody to come look at but it's no emergency. A general technological malaise and deterioration: Blame it on Gates and his bloatware. In the office I say: "Does anyone notice that all of the info-stuff seems to be deteriorating?" They look at me like I'm crazy but I can see the look in some of their eyes: They've noticed it too but they're scared to say anything for fear of sounding nuts.
But then it started creeping out into the physical. First, TV and radio started getting a little fuzzy/noisy around the edges, but that quickly expanded out into physical reality. The screech of breaking subway wheels is no longer sharp but almost a burst of patterned static; edges and shapes are now blurry at the edges; cars still function but somehow they seem to only just barely manage; and now the world appears as if through a rainy window: everything's blurry and gray and everyone is walking around drained of life and energy. The deterioration has gotten them, too.
But no one is saying anything. Why is no one saying anything? Everything is corroding, from the inside out, just barely hanging on to its outward form as if through habit, a perfunctory kowtowing to the need to be something. It's almost as if reality got tired of being reality; it decided to quit. We, too, are tired of the game and also too tired to go chasing it and begging it to return to continue playing the game for just a little longer.
As for me I am resigned to it, almost welcome it now. In fact, I can barely remember when things were normal. In fact, thinking back on before the deterioration, this sliding back into this primordial whatever, all of that seems unreal to me now, like some 1950s Normal Rockwell painting or commercial for Ginger-puffs.
Bring it on. I'm ready. We've had the sistole, the inbreath, now it's time for the diastole, the exhalation and relaxation. I'm ready for UMOUR.
I think it started with technology. Information technology, to be specific: Garbled voices on the conference line, ID badge-readers that need several tries before the green light, software that is just a little buggy around the edges...nothing crash-and-burn, mind you. just a subtle deterioration around the edges, of a kind that maybe soon they'll send somebody to come look at but it's no emergency. A general technological malaise and deterioration: Blame it on Gates and his bloatware. In the office I say: "Does anyone notice that all of the info-stuff seems to be deteriorating?" They look at me like I'm crazy but I can see the look in some of their eyes: They've noticed it too but they're scared to say anything for fear of sounding nuts.
But then it started creeping out into the physical. First, TV and radio started getting a little fuzzy/noisy around the edges, but that quickly expanded out into physical reality. The screech of breaking subway wheels is no longer sharp but almost a burst of patterned static; edges and shapes are now blurry at the edges; cars still function but somehow they seem to only just barely manage; and now the world appears as if through a rainy window: everything's blurry and gray and everyone is walking around drained of life and energy. The deterioration has gotten them, too.
But no one is saying anything. Why is no one saying anything? Everything is corroding, from the inside out, just barely hanging on to its outward form as if through habit, a perfunctory kowtowing to the need to be something. It's almost as if reality got tired of being reality; it decided to quit. We, too, are tired of the game and also too tired to go chasing it and begging it to return to continue playing the game for just a little longer.
As for me I am resigned to it, almost welcome it now. In fact, I can barely remember when things were normal. In fact, thinking back on before the deterioration, this sliding back into this primordial whatever, all of that seems unreal to me now, like some 1950s Normal Rockwell painting or commercial for Ginger-puffs.
Bring it on. I'm ready. We've had the sistole, the inbreath, now it's time for the diastole, the exhalation and relaxation. I'm ready for UMOUR.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
The Republic
Umour Ritual Forum_“a wiretap requires a court order…When we’re talking about chasing down terrorists, we’re talking about getting a court order before we do so.” George W. Bush, April 2004
Well, now we ALL know that he was lying… even the lying fascist liars know that he was lying… was lying, is lying… lies, lies, lies…LIES rhymes with SPIES! Didya hear Attorney General Alberto Gonzales’ justification for the administration blatantly violating the above pledge? It amounts to the absurd assertion that Congress, when it authorized Georgie to defend the country from “terrorism”, gave him carte blanche to subvert the constitution. These criminals keep justifying their abuses on the grounds that the President has extraordinary powers because, since 9/11, we are a nation at war. We are at war against “worldwide terrorism”. So… how is this “war” supposed to END? I mean, how are we supposed to know when the war is over?.. when there’s no more “TERROR” in the world?!! That’s like saying we’re waging a war on “sadness”. When we manage to kill or capture or convert every terrorist on earth?.. now, and for all time?
Sooooo…..this “war” will NEVER end and thus, any “special” powers claimed by the President are assumed to be permanent. There, BANG!…The Republic is nullified. It’s really no different from Bush declaring Marshall Law for the “duration of the crisis”, the beloved excuse of every cheap, petty, banana-republic dictator generalissimo. Gonzales claims that critics of the administration and journalists have overemphasized “the potential breadth of what the President has actually authorized.” Really? How the hell do we the people know what extent of spying this fascist has or will authorize. If it was all legal, why didn’t they get those warrants, like they promised? Now they want Google to give them our internet surfing records to protect us from bad pornography… hmm… Bank, library records…You know, what I’m seeing from the Bushie Boys is making me really rethink the Second Amendment. Threats to National Security can come from within as well as without. I think I see what the Founding Fathers had in mind.
Loudmouthbill
Well, now we ALL know that he was lying… even the lying fascist liars know that he was lying… was lying, is lying… lies, lies, lies…LIES rhymes with SPIES! Didya hear Attorney General Alberto Gonzales’ justification for the administration blatantly violating the above pledge? It amounts to the absurd assertion that Congress, when it authorized Georgie to defend the country from “terrorism”, gave him carte blanche to subvert the constitution. These criminals keep justifying their abuses on the grounds that the President has extraordinary powers because, since 9/11, we are a nation at war. We are at war against “worldwide terrorism”. So… how is this “war” supposed to END? I mean, how are we supposed to know when the war is over?.. when there’s no more “TERROR” in the world?!! That’s like saying we’re waging a war on “sadness”. When we manage to kill or capture or convert every terrorist on earth?.. now, and for all time?
Sooooo…..this “war” will NEVER end and thus, any “special” powers claimed by the President are assumed to be permanent. There, BANG!…The Republic is nullified. It’s really no different from Bush declaring Marshall Law for the “duration of the crisis”, the beloved excuse of every cheap, petty, banana-republic dictator generalissimo. Gonzales claims that critics of the administration and journalists have overemphasized “the potential breadth of what the President has actually authorized.” Really? How the hell do we the people know what extent of spying this fascist has or will authorize. If it was all legal, why didn’t they get those warrants, like they promised? Now they want Google to give them our internet surfing records to protect us from bad pornography… hmm… Bank, library records…You know, what I’m seeing from the Bushie Boys is making me really rethink the Second Amendment. Threats to National Security can come from within as well as without. I think I see what the Founding Fathers had in mind.
Loudmouthbill
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Truce Accepted!
Here's the basic substance of bin Laden's truce-deal:
On the other hand, please keep in mind that the guy in the Oval office isn't exactly doing what we tell him to these days. He's just about literally a loose cannon. But don't mistake him for America, just like we won't judge the Arab world by Saddam Hussein.
If I don't hear from you I'll assume this is a done deal.
Sincerely,
Em.
In response to the substance of the polls in the US, which indicate that Americans do not want to fight Muslims on Muslim land, nor do they want Muslims to fight them on their land, we do not mind offering a long-term truce based on just conditions that we will stick to.
"We are a nation that Allah banned from lying and stabbing others in the back, hence both parties of the truce will enjoy stability and security to rebuild Iraq and Afghanistan, which were destroyed by war.
"In response to the substance of the polls in the US, which indicate that Americans do not want to fight Muslims ... we do not mind offering a long-term truce based on just conditions that we will stick to" Bin Laden
"There is no problem in this solution, but it will prevent hundreds of billions from going to influential people and war lords in America - those who supported Bush's electoral campaign - and from this, we can understand Bush and his gang's insistence on continuing the war."
Dear Mr bin Laden:
On behalf of myself and lots of other Americans, I ACCEPT the terms of this truce. Neither I nor my family members nor all the other millions of Americans bound by this truce will go to or send our children to the middle east to fight. You've got my word.
On the other hand, please keep in mind that the guy in the Oval office isn't exactly doing what we tell him to these days. He's just about literally a loose cannon. But don't mistake him for America, just like we won't judge the Arab world by Saddam Hussein.
If I don't hear from you I'll assume this is a done deal.
Sincerely,
Em.
Monday, January 16, 2006
What would YOU do?
OK. What would you do?
There's a crazy country that's been monkeying with your country's internal affairs for many many decades, sending in agents to destabilize your government and otherwise subvert your country for it's own ends. After a while, your country finally pushes out any agents or other creepy-crawly operatives. Of course, you had to resort to drastic measures, but at least your country's destiny is in its own hands.
Ah but now that country has invaded your neighbor to the northeast. It's spouting all sorts of rhetoric about your country and its activities, labeling it part of the "axis of evil". OK, fine. Maybe there was some reason to do it and meanwhile they got rid of a completely pesky influence on the region and world. And not very stable, either. You can live with that, but having that old enemy at your back door isn't giving you a warm and fuzzy.
Ah, but now they cook up some crazy reason to invade your other big neighbor to the South. And boy are they making a mess down there! And they're still spouting all sorts of rhetoric even though your country hasn't invaded anyone.
And did I mention there's lot of oil under your country?
Did I also mention that the big bully nation happens to eat a lot of oil?
So now you're surrounded on both sides by a country that has done nothing over the years but meddle with your internal politics and that country has overwhelming superiority in conventional weapons.
What would you do? It's obvious, isn't it?
There's a crazy country that's been monkeying with your country's internal affairs for many many decades, sending in agents to destabilize your government and otherwise subvert your country for it's own ends. After a while, your country finally pushes out any agents or other creepy-crawly operatives. Of course, you had to resort to drastic measures, but at least your country's destiny is in its own hands.
Ah but now that country has invaded your neighbor to the northeast. It's spouting all sorts of rhetoric about your country and its activities, labeling it part of the "axis of evil". OK, fine. Maybe there was some reason to do it and meanwhile they got rid of a completely pesky influence on the region and world. And not very stable, either. You can live with that, but having that old enemy at your back door isn't giving you a warm and fuzzy.
Ah, but now they cook up some crazy reason to invade your other big neighbor to the South. And boy are they making a mess down there! And they're still spouting all sorts of rhetoric even though your country hasn't invaded anyone.
And did I mention there's lot of oil under your country?
Did I also mention that the big bully nation happens to eat a lot of oil?
So now you're surrounded on both sides by a country that has done nothing over the years but meddle with your internal politics and that country has overwhelming superiority in conventional weapons.
What would you do? It's obvious, isn't it?
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Apathy...
You know what I've realized?
I've realized that I just don't give a shit any longer.
Consider the record of surprises related to this administration: Valerie Plame, our Eastern European Torture Gulag, The Al-Jazeera Memo, and now the absurdly illegal systematic spying on US citizens. Oh, and that's just the war stuff. There's also the opening of Alaskan wildlands to oil drilling, the fucked-up way we're handling Iran, Katrina and on and on and on.
And that's just Mr Bush. That's just right now.
What I find is that I feel that anything relating to politics at the Federal level and DC are just too broken to fix. And also, no one else cares enough to really give a crap, and if they did there'd be a mob burning down the Whitehouse as we speak.
Looking at this, true or not, I feel no rage anymore. I feel no desire to fix it, no desire to fight or reform. Right or wrong, "fixing" it, or trying, seems pointless. Demonstrations? That's like using electrical paddles to try to restart the heart of a 500 pound man who's been dead for days.
I've realized that I just don't give a shit any longer.
Consider the record of surprises related to this administration: Valerie Plame, our Eastern European Torture Gulag, The Al-Jazeera Memo, and now the absurdly illegal systematic spying on US citizens. Oh, and that's just the war stuff. There's also the opening of Alaskan wildlands to oil drilling, the fucked-up way we're handling Iran, Katrina and on and on and on.
And that's just Mr Bush. That's just right now.
What I find is that I feel that anything relating to politics at the Federal level and DC are just too broken to fix. And also, no one else cares enough to really give a crap, and if they did there'd be a mob burning down the Whitehouse as we speak.
Looking at this, true or not, I feel no rage anymore. I feel no desire to fix it, no desire to fight or reform. Right or wrong, "fixing" it, or trying, seems pointless. Demonstrations? That's like using electrical paddles to try to restart the heart of a 500 pound man who's been dead for days.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
The State Of The Union
Why in the world is anyone genuinely surprised that the Bush administration was illegally spying on Americans? Did anyone really think these bastards weren’t getting all KGB on your ass? Let me remind you: they lied the country into a fucking war. What exactly does anyone think they’re “not capable of”? But don’t think I’m smiling at the latest revelations. I fear there are dark days ahead. Believe me, I love to see the Bushie-boys squirm but the distressing fact is that if they really start to feel the heat, we can expect another “incident”. This is a greedy, amoral bunch of cutthroats with delusions of grandeur. They are “capable” of unimaginable atrocities. Buckle-up.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
We need a new approach
From the link above it should be obvious that Satan is winning the war for the biology classroom, as the Pennsylvania courts have now officially ruled against intelligent design. So today they are teaching our children that their grandfathers were monkeys. Next they'll be teaching that our monkey ancestors worshipped Satan.
What we need is a new approach. If we can't beat Satan in the biology classroom, let's beat him in the others:
1. In English. Let's remove all those words Satan introduced into our language after the King James Bible. Let's ensure that "thee", "thine", "hither" "thither" and other Godly vocabulary and grammatical structures are taught instead of their new false versions that come from the pits of hell.
2. In electronics and technology. Since we know that the whole world is held together by God, we need to teach this in physics, astronomy and chemistry. Clearly, it is God's Word through the holy spirit that holds atoms together, not any Satanic forces of fire or electromagnetism. Likewise, Carbon 14 nuclei decay because has withdrawn his favor, not because of any process that has nothing to do with God. Carbon 14 radioactivity has increased since the fall and Adam and Eve's sin, which is why the deluded scientists of the world believe that the earth is 5 billion years old.
3. First Aid. We know that nothing that occurs in this world occurs without God. Therefore, the first response to any accident should be prayer and study of the Bible. If someone is choking it does not matter that the food is lodged in their windpipe. What matters is that God is pleased. First responders should be taught to repeat the ten commandments and the Lord's prayer before any attempt at ressuccitation is made.
Together, if we put God first in the classroom in all areas then our children will understand the truth of His word. Let's work together to abolish all lies and falsehood that the devil would teach our children.
What we need is a new approach. If we can't beat Satan in the biology classroom, let's beat him in the others:
1. In English. Let's remove all those words Satan introduced into our language after the King James Bible. Let's ensure that "thee", "thine", "hither" "thither" and other Godly vocabulary and grammatical structures are taught instead of their new false versions that come from the pits of hell.
2. In electronics and technology. Since we know that the whole world is held together by God, we need to teach this in physics, astronomy and chemistry. Clearly, it is God's Word through the holy spirit that holds atoms together, not any Satanic forces of fire or electromagnetism. Likewise, Carbon 14 nuclei decay because has withdrawn his favor, not because of any process that has nothing to do with God. Carbon 14 radioactivity has increased since the fall and Adam and Eve's sin, which is why the deluded scientists of the world believe that the earth is 5 billion years old.
3. First Aid. We know that nothing that occurs in this world occurs without God. Therefore, the first response to any accident should be prayer and study of the Bible. If someone is choking it does not matter that the food is lodged in their windpipe. What matters is that God is pleased. First responders should be taught to repeat the ten commandments and the Lord's prayer before any attempt at ressuccitation is made.
Together, if we put God first in the classroom in all areas then our children will understand the truth of His word. Let's work together to abolish all lies and falsehood that the devil would teach our children.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
911
December 2005; Is there anybody out there who still believes that the Bush administration wasn’t, in some way, behind Sept. 11, 2001? Anybody?!! Didn’t think so… I mean just look at how they’ve used it and what they’ve used it for … and how ready they all were to switch gears. Believe me, I’m not one who accepts every wacko conspiracy theory. It’s hard to get around the fact that a plot of that size, possibly involving several countries, would be exceedingly difficult to pull off; and this isn’t the most competent administration ever to occupy the White House. It really does seem to be wishful thinking to assume convenient conspiracies lurking around every corner. However, I think it is just as naïve to fail to consider that they ever may exist. History shows us that there have been conspiracies, huge conspiracies, from time to time. Some conspiracies have been proven to involve collusion from several countries or national leaders. History teaches us that if the stakes are high enough, anything is possible. In this particular case, the stakes were thick and juicy indeed. Without 9/11: there would have been no invasion of Iraq… no hundreds of billions in fat military contracts (all going, of course, to supporters of the administration)… no controlling one of the world’s largest supplies of oil… no additional rip-off of public funds (going, again, to the administration’s corporate sponsors) for Iraqi “reconstruction”… no public-funds gift-to-the-wealthy (or, at least, not the second one)…no draconian, anti-democratic, police-state security measures… and probably, no reelection for four more years of plunder. Folks, when you consider the callous ways that they’ve used the tragic events of 9/11/01 to further their own agenda, you come up with only two possibilities; either Bush and his boys are the luckiest sons-of-bitches in history or that they made their own luck. Now my mama didn’t raise no fool and one thing I know is; if you want to find the RAT, just follow the CHEESE. In this case there’s a big, stinky pile of ripe toe-cheese sitting right in the Oval Orifice. So, you want a “plausible” scenario?… lemme paint you a picture:
Georgie and Papa HW and Uncle Dick and Rummie and some other pals were sitting around just shooting the shit one day when they got a brilliant idea. So they called up some old buddies in the family Saud. They said “We’re gonna run junior in 2000 and when he gets, er…”elected” there’s a great opportunity for a lot of us to make a whole shitload of money. We know the ways and we’re already cookin’ up some juicy means. Problem is, to implement these plans we need an… event, a big, splashy EVENT. That’s where you boys come in. To prevent any rivets from comin’ loose on the bass-boat, we don’t want to know any particulars… just the nuts-and-bolts: when, where, etc… maybe not even that much… so as we can act surprised and react with proper, righteous indignation after the fact. I mean, it’s gotta be a surprise, boys. Georgie ain’t no Ronald Reagan, if you know what I mean. If you need some ideas or logistical planning, we suggest that you talk to our buddies over in the Mossad, they’re particularly good at that sort of thing. Remember, we’re counting on you boys, so don’t fuck this one up… your seats on the gravy-train depend on it,”… or something to that effect. More plausible, at least, then the pablum we’re being offered.
Loudmouth Bill
Georgie and Papa HW and Uncle Dick and Rummie and some other pals were sitting around just shooting the shit one day when they got a brilliant idea. So they called up some old buddies in the family Saud. They said “We’re gonna run junior in 2000 and when he gets, er…”elected” there’s a great opportunity for a lot of us to make a whole shitload of money. We know the ways and we’re already cookin’ up some juicy means. Problem is, to implement these plans we need an… event, a big, splashy EVENT. That’s where you boys come in. To prevent any rivets from comin’ loose on the bass-boat, we don’t want to know any particulars… just the nuts-and-bolts: when, where, etc… maybe not even that much… so as we can act surprised and react with proper, righteous indignation after the fact. I mean, it’s gotta be a surprise, boys. Georgie ain’t no Ronald Reagan, if you know what I mean. If you need some ideas or logistical planning, we suggest that you talk to our buddies over in the Mossad, they’re particularly good at that sort of thing. Remember, we’re counting on you boys, so don’t fuck this one up… your seats on the gravy-train depend on it,”… or something to that effect. More plausible, at least, then the pablum we’re being offered.
Loudmouth Bill
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Red White and Blue Winter Holiday Song
(Sing roughly to the tune of “White Christmas”)
“I’m dreaming of a politically correct, thoroughly generic, non-denominational, winter holiday….
Not to offend a single soul.
To the liberals, moderates and conservative right,
May all your winter holidays be every color of the rainbow”.
“I’m dreaming of a politically correct, thoroughly generic, non-denominational, winter holiday….
Not to offend a single soul.
To the liberals, moderates and conservative right,
May all your winter holidays be every color of the rainbow”.
Dubya
Umour Ritual ForumSo Clinton got a Blowjob and lied about it… big fucking deal… and got Impeached. Bush lied us into a goddamn War- what’s worse?!! For four years the Right held-up the business of the United States by ceaselessly attacking Clinton over nothing. Now if Bush critics try to hold him accountable for the truly treasonous acts which are being committed daily during his reign (like lying us into a war, for instance ) we’re attacked for undermining the war effort, promoting teen pregnancy and letting bedbugs loose in the East Village. At some point here, one would hope, America will return to sanity and find it’s balls. You can do it right now- say it out loud- what you’ve all been thinking. Just open your mouths and yell it right out: that every day, in every way, I am reminded that George W. Bush is the worst President we’ve ever had in these United (barely ) States. That’s it, plainly, bluntly and succinctly; The Worst Ever! He combines the stupidity and incompetence of Warren G. Harding with the conniving evil of Richard M. Nixon and the religious hypocrisy of Ronald Reagan. However in this case, the total is even worse than the sum of these parts. While Harding was surely stupid, at least he was relatively benign. While Nixon was surely dishonest, at least he was intelligent and generally competent. Dubya is stupid, incompetent, hypocritical and evil. At the very least we’re all going to be paying the tab for this cretin for many years to come… that’s if we can prevent him from committing any more atrocities over the next three years; a big IF considering how virtually everything the guy has done has been wrong, on so many levels. Whether I harbored any prior prejudice against Dubya and his boys or not is not really germane… the facts are the facts… and in this case the Facts are quite damning indeed. Of course the administration is going to attack any good citizen who points them out. We’re Defeatists and Naysayers and Enablers and worse because we see the obvious reality which is staring us directly in the face. It’s like if your friends convinced you that you could fly and you got so enthralled with the idea that you actually went up on the garage roof and jumped… and through some lucky freak of nature you survived unhurt. Now the smart man or the reasonable man or even the basically sane would have to conclude two things: 1) Perhaps my friends were mistaken and I, in fact, can’t fly and 2) maybe I need some new friends. But Dubya isn’t smart or reasonable or even basically sane. He keeps jumping off that same roof, falling Splat on the ground and climbing back up again. Each time not only refusing to acknowledge that he can’t fly, that he never could fly but also attacking those who dare to point out the obvious, more and more virulently. “I’m an AMERIKAN and an AMERIKAN can do anything he sets his mind to… and I say I can fly”! The problem is, in the case of Dubya, it isn’t just one man’s vainglorious attempt to do the impossible, for that explanation is merely more Rovian myth-making. While the deluded dreamer is something we can admire, in a Don Quixote-esque sort of way, what we have here is something much more cheap, dirty and seemly. No, in this case Dubya is actually pushing YOU off the roof… and LAUGHING about it. “Heh, Heh, Heh… You got a little more height that time… Heh, Heh, Heh… Jes’ a couple more tries and I’m sure you’ll be soaring with the eagles… Heh, Heh, Heh. Now all you naysayers get offn my garage roof before sundown- My Daddy used to play a cowboy in the movies, you know… or maybe that was that other guy. “
It’s about time fi we have a REVOLUTION, mon!
Loudmouth Bill
It’s about time fi we have a REVOLUTION, mon!
Loudmouth Bill
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)